I was talking to a friend the other day who had just broken up with her bf of 11 years. We were discussing on the topic of men and what kind of guys she find attractive. I did not see it coming when she said she’s into white boys..especially since the guy she’s been with since high school is an Asian.
But, attraction is a rather subjective matter, I think. According to a research done, it seems that women find different men attractive at various stages of their menstrual cycle. Personally, mine doesn’t change that fast but I have realised that the guys I would have gone for when I was younger is no longer the guys I would be attracted to these days.
I suppose age plays a big part too. The older I get, the more attracted I am to the mature, settled, stable kinda guy. Physically, he has to be fit, healthy and takes care of himself. It is not hard to see that the underlying message is that I want to make sure my life partner is going to at least last another 40 years of my life and be able to help me raise our kids and provide for them without bailing out at the first opportunity or prematurely dying from smoking or other disgusting habits people may have.
My friend and I both agreed that personality plays a major factor (which I always think is more so for women than for men). It’s a rare occasion when I meet a guy (or girl for that matter – but different story altogether) whom I can instantly click with. I am always pleasantly surprised when I am able to carry long witty conversations with a stranger and be able to joke and give each other shit like as though we have known each other for years. No awkward pauses and none of those moments when I’m cracking my brain trying to keep the conversation going. And best of all, I don’t need to fake an interested look when I’m just absolutely dying of boredom inside.
I sometimes wonder what exactly is it that attracts couples together. Some people may end up together for 10 years only to break up. Others may have only met and married within a 6 month period. And, if you are with someone, is it still normal to feel attraction for another person? And if so, what does this mean? Personally, I think that people are bound to feel attraction for other people, regardless of marriage or in a committed relationship. I think it is all harmless as long as the line is not crossed. Unfortunately, judging by the number of people who are caught cheating or who have cheated, this happens more often than one likes to admit.
I suppose it’s just another “When harry met sally” debate. Can two people honestly remain as friends if there is mutual attraction? On rare occasions such as these, I’d like to have faith in the human race and say I’d like to think so.
