As you should all know by now, I like talking about relationships and human behaviour. It is a subject that constantly baffles me and which I know I will never fully understand. Yes, when my mind draws a blank, I find that it is always a safe topic to write about because of its multi faceted levels of subjectiveness.
This week alone, I have been invited to a wedding, found out a friend got engaged, and another who have decided to move in with her boyfriend.
The particular topic I have in mind is, would you prefer
a) an intense relationship where you are deeply in love with the other person to a point where you feel you are unable to live without them, constantly need to be with them 24/7 and is deliriously happy but at the same time, you also have the same intensity when it comes to arguments and fights? Or,
b) would you rather be in a relationship where you love the other person but not to the point where you think your world will crash if he/she ever leaves you, but enough to see a future with them? At the same time, you will never feel the intensity of the relationship where everything is a high (but also with the lows). You are just riding the waves on a sunny lazy afternoon.
For me, I have gone through both stages, either in the same relationship or otherwise. I think, of course, that ‘b’ is the much healthier option. However, sometimes, I wonder if something is lacking when I don’t feel ‘a’. Am I just a sucker for punishment?
I know that people have different needs. I know girls who are constantly chasing a dream of the perfect guy, girls who would do anything to be with their loser, cheating boyfriends, girls who are still independent from their relationship and girls who can never seem to be able to embrace singlehood.
I suppose the younger my friends, the more I see the ‘a’ in their relationships. The older they are and the more ready to settle, the b relationship seems more obvious. Then again, there are also a few who are trying to tame the ‘a’ relationship in their marriage.
Whenever I feel the lack of intensity in a ‘b’ relationship, subconsciously, I seem to have a knack for stirring things up. After the drama subsides, on hindsight, I would then realise that I did that as a way of gaining some sort of assurance that things were still going good and we both weren’t taking things for granted.
Is that twisted or what? Like I said, sucker for punishment – or perhaps just what any other girl would do (crossing fingers).
